求批改Is It necessary to study the creative art?

求批改Is It necessary to study the creative art?
Nowadays,some people consider that creative arts is outmoded,arguing that science dominates the modern world.Undoubtedly,science has already totally changed out life,but it can hardly support the statement that creative arts are out of use now.After all,creative arts once played a critical role in out history.Furthermore,creative arts remain as a good stimulation for science or other aspects of humans’ life.Therefore,I’d like to assert that creative arts are doomed to be necessary for people to study.
At first,we may delve into the history of humans.We may still conjure up that when in the renaissance period,creative arts are the first fields that ask for reform,relieving people from bleak medieval period.We still remember Picasso,Davinci and other excellent artists contributed their lives toward the improvement of humans’ history.We may find out that creative arts may convoke people together to strive for a bright future.Thus we couldn’t assume that creative arts are useless.
Secondly,we may look into the modern world.People are in need of the creative arts.Scientists may need music to enlighten them.Take Einstein as an illustration,we still remember clearly that he favored the violin and attend the concert in the weekends,telling others:“music and science are best friends.” Even if we put aside the influence of art on science,we can’t neglect its impact on ordinary people.Let’s consider the following hypothesis situation.An employee comes back to his house after an exhausting day,bearing the censure of his boss and competing with his colleagues.What if he can’t find something relaxing?He may gradually lose the passion for life.
After we considering the impact of creative arts on both the past and the present,we may draw the conclusion that sometimes creative arts may push out development,while sometimes they may enlighten us.Creative arts are nothing but dispensable.

out 改 our ,我想你是笔误,我不理解你为什么后面一直用may.
...they arguing that science dominates the modern world.Undoubtedly,science has already changed our life totally,..
At first 改 First ,
that when 改that,
the first fields改 the leading field,
ask for reform,relieving改 that was requested for reforming in order to relieve people..
excellent artists contributed their 改 excellent artists who contributed their..