批改雅思作文练了一段时间雅思作文,想看看有没有进步,大家帮我评评吧,再打个分,International tourism

批改雅思作文
练了一段时间雅思作文,想看看有没有进步,大家帮我评评吧,再打个分,
International tourism is now more common than ever before.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.
What are your opinions on this?
国际旅游好处多还是坏处多?
The past 50 years have seen an increasing popularity of international tourism.Yet,there remains disagreements as to whether the trend of booming international tourism is positive or negative.While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary,Ipersonally agree that the merits of this trend far overweigh its demerits.These merits are twofold.
First of all,itis an deniable fact that international tourism has brought economic growth to many developing countries.Despite the risk of enviroment damage----- a problem occationally seen in some tourist attractions caused by low-quality visitors----- countries as famous tourist destinations often benefit from the foreign capital from overseas wealthy tourists.This foreign capital has greatly stimulated the development of local trade and solved the unemployment problem.
Further and even more importantly.though,international tourism has successfully promoted cultural exchange around the world.A variety of tourist cultural festivals held in tourist attractions play a significant role in culturak exchange.Beijing International Tourist Cultural Festival is a tipical one of this kind------ thousands of visitors were attracted to Beijing,which carried farward the traditional culture of a Beijing and introduced international culture to this ancient city.
By way of conclusion,I once again reaffirm my position that international tourism is benefictial to most countries because of the economic boom and cultural exchange it brings.

International tourism is now more common than ever before.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.
What are your opinions on this?
国际旅游好处多还是坏处多?
The past 50 years have seen an increasing popularity of international tourism.Yet,there remains disagreements as to whether the trend of booming international tourism is positive or negative.While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary,I personally agree that the merits of this trend far overweigh its demerits.These merits are twofold.
First of all,it is an un/deniable fact that international tourism has brought economic growth to many developing countries.Despite the risk of enviroment/environmental damage----- a problem occationally/occasionally seen in some tourist attractions caused by low-quality/这个词用词不当 visitors /改为of bad manners----- countries as famous tourist destinations often benefit from the foreign capital/这样说外汇收入是不对的可改capital为earnings from overseas/这个词应放在wealthy后 wealthy tourists /最好改为home and abroad.This foreign capital/改 has greatly stimulated the development of local trade and solved the unemployment problem.
Further and even more importantly.though,redundant international tourism has successfully promoted cultural exchange/搭配不当 用communication around the world.A variety of tourist cultural festivals held in tourist attractions play a significant role in culturak exchange//改.Beijing International Tourist Cultural Festival is a tipical/typical one of this kind------ thousands of visitors were attracted to Beijing,which carried farward/forward the traditional culture of Beijing and introduced international culture/s to this ancient/这个词用在这里不妥,可改为historic city/或of history.
By way of conclusion,I once again reaffirm my position that international tourism is benefictial//beneficial to most countries because of the economic boom/这个词误用economic boom是指经济突然地增长很多,这里可用 economic growth and cultural exchange//改 it brings.
帮你改了,你这篇是我在百度上改的最好的一篇文章,5.5以上,主要是你的模板用的不错,但是如果想更上一层楼的话就要注意措辞和搭配,学习一个词,特别是高级词汇,最终是要学会其在实际生活中的用法,你这方面还要加强.再一个就是注意拼写,这个扣分不花算.加加油,上6分很有希望.
还有疑问再问,