本人英语基础比较差,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?

本人英语基础比较差,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?
Topic:Some people think that men and women have different qualities that some certain job suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been much discussion over whether men or women shuold be more good for some certain jobs.In this essay,I will analyse both views and present my opinion.
First of all,some people think that having high level of work just only suitable for men to do.As we know,there is a custom in china,that is ,"men work,women take care of home",which is still highly regarded today.The main reason for this is the old ideas of people.It is may be stands for the curture of chinese history,this is not beneficial to the progressing of the society.As a result discrimanation of work may led to a lot of talent loss.
Secondly,others think that some difficult work can suit to women to do.It is report that,an increasing numbei of senior positions are women in globe.The development of technology and science,the physical labor time is out of date early.Therefore,the woman may become the main contributor in society.
Finally,more importantly,the equality of men and women have win support among the people.For example,the status of woman in society has been widely respected.In the long run,it can hardly be denied that the contribution of female is indelible to society.
To conclude,regarding the issue,my conclusion is that some certain job can suitable for women,Also,I would argue that it seems highly valuable for supporting the quality of men and women to the advance of the society.

最好是选其中的一个观点进行阐述,题目问你agree 还是disagree.analyse both views分析两个观点,难以很好地例证观点.最好一段总结观点不明确.先确定好观点,重新写吧,这样会比较好.
第一段,shuold拼写改为should； good比较级用better 不能用more good.
再问： 请问下我语法错误多吗？
再答： 整体文章还是需要在仔细检查，会发现一些语法问题和一些不细心造成的低级错误，这些平常要多注意。 第二段，It is may be stands 这里有两个谓语去掉is；may led to 把led改为原形lead情态动词后加动词原形 第二段，It is report that这里的 report改为reported据报导；numbei拼写错误number； 第四段，have win support 完成时态win改为won； 最后一段，To conclude,regarding the issue,my conclusion 个人觉得有重复了conclusion，改一个； can suitable for 这里的suitable是形容词应加个be动词，即can be suitable for。 这是我单纯从语法的角度帮你找出了的一些问题。希望可以帮到你，加油。